Lees: Merry Christmas, cuntsmear.
PK: Merry Christmas, ass-castle!
Lees: If I’m the ass-castle, that makes you the gashmoat.
PK: With a fart fortress! And I’m texting you while I pee.
Lees: My taint is the drawbridge. Just pee?
PK: Yes. Would you like me to text again when I take a crap? Or give myself an anal douche?
Lees: Anal douche is actually Gaelic for “rim job.”
PK: Really? I thought it was Swahili for “drink my baby batter.”
Lees: Actually, it’s Welsh for “ass to mouth.”
Lees: Yes please. With pics.
PK: Very well.